I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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