I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
