Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
