I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
