Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
