Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
