Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
