He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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