after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
