the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Michael Bay diarrhea
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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