i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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