Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
