Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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