i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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