They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
