some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize