Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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