i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
