I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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