I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
