I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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