How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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