North Korea, Best Korea!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
