That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
and you fell through a lawn chair
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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