Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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