where am i from again
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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