Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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