I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she looked like the before picture.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
