i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
