I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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