I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
