pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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