So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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