At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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