so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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