Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
