there's paper in my vomit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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