so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
