the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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