Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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