i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm at about main and main street
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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