i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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