I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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