Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
