i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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