actually, I'm a sock model
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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