So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
