Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
