How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
