You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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