im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
